Kelly Dreher
Down-to-earth Diva of all things
of the dinner and drinks variety.
Thoughts From Our Diva
A Little Liz Goes A Long Way...
What Elizabeth Taylor Taught Me
When I cook, I like to... Whoa, she's just so... Wait... What was I saying? Sorry. I got distracted by Liz. OMG. That hair! Those eyes! The dress! The quote for heaven's sake! Do they still make that lipstick color? What unearthly force is responsible for her eyebrows?!?! Diamonds. Diamonds. Diamonds. (*Insert Heart-Eyed Emoji Here*)
But let's be quite honest, Liz's life was full of drama. I think she would be the first to admit that sometimes life doesn't deal us the easiest hand. In fact, sometimes life deals us a hand that reaps every ounce of esteem, confidence, hope and stamina we ever had for ourselves. When that happens, who the hell wants to cook dinner, do her makeup or appear in public? I sure didn't.
When I started this website I was on top of the world. I was living my dreams and life was great. I was a top-level teacher, a published book author and a blossoming home chef and food blogger. Then disaster incomprehensibly hit my life like a live grenade out of nowhere and for all the wrong reasons. Thank GOD for my incredible, unwavering husband and family, because I quickly learned that most "friends" are- at best- fairweather and most co-workers are- at BEST- "somebody that I used to know." Who are "my people" now? I've cut that list by a fourth in the past year. Oh well. (These people in the pictures are rock solid and I let them be my foundation. Except Lucy, but I still love her. Wink. Plus that quote and that face? Girlfriend knows what's up.)
Which brings me to my real BFF, Elizabeth Taylor. Okay, maybe not, but there is a resounding resonance to this quote that struck me when things were really hard. And it teaches us a couple pretty important life lessons.
Number one: Pour yourself a drink. When it's bad, like, really bad, really freakin' bad, get through it however you have to. Now, don't delve into debt and addiction and debauchery and men and vice. (Sorry, Liz. To each her own.) But get your butt through the day with some dignity. And no, your husband's heather gray sweat pants with the elastic ankle cinches and "dignity" can't belong in the same sentence. Sorry, chica.
Which brings us to Number two: Put on some lipstick. If you look like crap, you're going to feel like crap. A true diva already knows this. Some days when things were tough I did myself up in full makeup, jewelry and heels just to take a picture of myself. I would compare the new picture with the old ones and reassure myself that I was okay. Things were bad, but my face didn't fall off. I still had a smile and even if I could only show it to myself, at least that was something. Plus my lovely husband would come home from work and make a big fuss over the fact that I'd spruced up- and it made me feel special enough to want to do it again the next day. And maybe even make dinner. Check out this pic to the right. Bad, bad day, but good lipstick. Cute cat. Also important.
Finally, Number three: Pull yourself together. Is it anti-feminist to say a strong woman never goes to pieces in public? That she never shows her sheepishness or her disgrace or admits her struggle? Maybe, I don't know. But I'm a little Italian Catholic girl who runs a cooking website about making dinner, drinking wine, entertaining, wearing lipstick and diamonds and pleasing her in-laws. Am I your best source for feminism anyway? Let's hope not. I'm all for women, make no mistake, but I'm trying to revive the type of decent, kind, hospitable, classy women of the previous generations. Things haven't been the same since my Gen Y ladies became girls "gone wild" circa, like, Spring Break '02 and, well... hence "Pull yourself together."
Advice-givers always caution those struggling not to choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But I think it's also vital not to put too much stock in a temporary solution fixing a permanent problem. Some things can't be fixed, can't be undone. We just have to learn to deal with them. You truly have to pull yourself together. Maybe you wrecked your car. Maybe your dreams were flushed down the pot. Maybe it's a bad hair day. Whatever it is, have the grace, the class and the fortitude to gather yourself and soldier on. No one wants to have a panic attack over how they acted during their last panic attack. That kind of chaos might make you spill your drink or smudge your lipstick and what a waste that would be - look how far you've come already.
My advice for now is listen to Liz. Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together. Or try. And pasta. Pasta is my other advice. Hey, it works for this diva. Thanks for reading. XOXO
Cheers,
Kelly